Cancer babies break-up marriage

Perhaps it’s because we’re vulnerable and exposed as travelers or because most of the people I’ve met on my trip are open and eager to talk, but I’ve never learned more about people in such a short amount of time than I have in the past seven weeks of traveling. I’ll meet someone on a train in the seat across the aisle or sitting on a bed in the dormitory of a hostel and two hours later secrets come pouring out. Once the first question is uttered – usually “Where are you from?” – the friendship has been established as temporary. Someone to cling to for a half an hour or three days or however long your journeys overlap. And in that time, as much information as possible must be exchanged: Where have you been? Where are you going? What have you seen? What’s your favorite place? When do you go back home? Are you traveling alone? Flying or taking trains? How do you afford it? The questions go on and on but eventually they lead to something deeper. Something that usually cuts closer to the reason why people are traveling. No one will ever admit that it was anything more than a brilliant idea made reality with a plane ticket and guidebook, but after talking for a while bits of their lives start to seep out and I can piece together what brought them to this hostel, this train, this conversation.

Sometimes it’s not hard to figure out. There’s Angelina from Russia who after two hours of conversation and a shared ham sandwich told me that she had cancer four years ago and recently found a lump in her breast. We met on a train in Spain on her way home from Russia where she was supposed to have seen a doctor but got scared at the last minute and didn’t go to the appointment. “I’d rather not know,” she said as she lay on the bunk across from mine, staring up at the ceiling. “My boyfriend’s going to be so mad.”

And then there’s Nikki and Nathan, an Australian couple I befriended in Amsterdam. We met in a huge, 18-person dormitory at the hostel and wandered around the city together, dodging bikers and peering in coffeeshops. I learned that they were together for three years but broke up three months ago and decided to travel together anyway. Though I only knew them for two days and never even found out exactly why they broke up, I could tell that Nathan was still in love with her and Nikki loved him back, just not in the same way. It was kind of painful to watch.

And of course there’s Logan, the neurotic graffiti artist from Vancouver. I found out within a half hour of meeting him that he has a newborn daughter back home who was adopted by a couple down the street in Vancouver. He can see her anytime he’d like but has chosen to travel around Europe and get her name tattooed on his arm instead. The tattoo always sparked lots of questions and I listened to him awkwardly explain his daughter’s adoption many times.

Then there’s Laura from Mexico. I knew her for less than two weeks and we could barely communicate with one another, but by the time I left Madrid she’d told me that she was thinking about leaving her husband.

Maybe it’s because they know they’ll never see me again. Or maybe they just need some sort of brief, close connection with another person while traveling. But something in these people drives them to spill it all. They confess their secrets over sandwiches on a night train and divulge their innermost fears while sharing cigarettes on the roof of a hostel. They burn their stories into my brain and become more than just bodies with backpacks, but people from real places with real histories and real problems. I can’t forget about them now. Now that I know about her cancer and his baby and their break-up and her marriage. But what they might not realize is that this is all I’ve got. Realistically, I’ll never hear from these people again. We’ve long since traveled on and had new experiences and met new people and the past has started to solidify into one unchanging memory in our minds. Angelina will forever be on the brink of having cancer. Logan will always be a father away from his baby. Nathan will continue to love Nikki and Laura will remain wanting to leave her husband. But oddly enough, that’s exactly how I want things to stay. These are my Europe memories and they’re perfect. I’m not stressed about keeping in contact with everyone after I’m gone because all I ever really needed from them is exactly what they gave me as guest stars in my European adventure. And it’s entirely reciprocal, as I’ve been guest starring in their adventures as well. Hopefully it’s been in some sort of memorable way, though I suspect my stories aren’t nearly as exciting.